If he demurs and does not launch into a recitation of his woes from childhood on, then she might try the playful approach:

«So, here I am!» She tickles him in a place she knows he’s vulnerable. «What do you think? Do you want to play with me? Listen, I have a riddle for you. What’s a zebra?» She sticks out her breasts. «Give up? A zebra is twenty-five times bigger than an A-bra!»

If he doesn’t start laughing and cheering up (he may, for example, become grouchier), the sexy approach may work:

«Hi there, handsome. What can I do for you?» She slides her hand up his leg. «I’m here to relieve you of all your worldly and sexual tension, and I’m ready to fulfill your innermost fantasies. Your wish is my compulsion!»

If the husband is in on this game, he will now find some way to play along. If the game is a surprise, the fairy godmother must keep trying until she finds the key to unlocking his resistance. That key usually turns on an understanding of his particular rescue fantasy (all of us have one). Once it has been found, the husband can be lured out of his depressive posture and into an enjoyable sexual experience—which may also lead to an unburdening of himself in a way he has not experienced before. And this could in turn lead to increased intimacy.

As with other games, this one must be played with conviction and zest. If there is any hesitancy, self-consciousness, or inhibition, that will sabotage the proceedings. Therefore, the active partner must be ready to truly throw herself into her role and enjoy it. This will have a therapeutic benefit on her too, channeling into a constructive groove her resentment about her husband’s depression.


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